• books

Alright, confession time: I’m a dude who reads romance novels.

That might not be an earth-shattering thing to come out as in the year of our lord 2024 but you’ve got to admit your brows are raised right now.

Yes, I mean those books people often dismiss as “trashy” or “guilty pleasures.” And no, I’m not talking about the occasional romance read. I mean full-on, reading-them-on-the-regular romance novels. For the longest time, it’s something I used to be quietly embarrassed about since I started sinking my teeth into the genre about a decade ago.

After I stopped caring about people’s opinions, I began reading romance novels with an open mind. I now believe the genre deserves more respect – it’s not just entertaining, but also a significant part of my reading diet, and I’m not ashamed to admit it anymore.

In fact, I think more people—guys included—should give them a shot. As a genre, it’s so much more than our outdated, usually gendered preconceptions that somehow make us think it’s not worth taking up our reading time. These books can offer so much more than people give them credit for and allow me to make a case for the benefits of maybe adding one book or ten to your reading diet.

1. Romance novels centre on relationships - and that’s important.

At the heart of every romance novel is a relationship. Whether it’s friends-to-lovers, enemies-to-lovers, a second-chance romance, or any number of diverse pairings—be it queer, ace, trans, or polyamorous—these stories delve deep into what makes relationships work (or not work). They explore themes like trust, communication, vulnerability, and the complexities of human connection. These are things we all deal with, whether we’re single, in a relationship, somewhere in between, or figuring it all out.

Exploring a wide range of romance novels has definitively shaped my sensitivity, open-mindedness, and curiosity about concepts like SOGIE and the diversity of preferences and orientations. This exposure has undeniably enriched my understanding of human relationships and identities.

Reading about relationships in the richer tapestry of fiction as opposed to something like self-help or a textbook makes us receptive to these new perspectives. They show us the value of empathy, compromise, and emotional intelligence. They serve as a reminder that love, despite its messy and complicated nature, is something worth celebrating. In a world that often feels disconnected, these captivating stories underscore the crucial role of human connection, a theme often overlooked by other genres.

2. Romance novels are feminist and queer-affirming

There’s a common misconception that romance novels are regressive or anti-feminist, but the reality is often the opposite. Romance as a genre is dominated by female, queer, and non-binary authors and readers, and many of the stories celebrate strength, independence, and agency in all forms.

The protagonists in romance novels are often smart, capable, and resilient. Whether they’re women, men, non-binary, or somewhere on the spectrum, these characters pursue their desires—whether that’s a career, a family, a romantic partner, or simply peace of mind—on their own terms. They make mistakes, learn from them, and grow. And yes, they fall in love—but they do so while staying true to themselves. In many ways, romance novels offer a safe space for exploring and celebrating empowerment, love, and self-discovery.

3. Romance novels tackle real issues

Contrary to popular belief, romance novels aren’t just fluffy stories about love and lust. Many of them tackle serious issues, from mental health and trauma to racism, homophobia, and social justice. They provide a lens through which to view and understand these issues, often in a more accessible and relatable way than other genres.

For example, a romance novel might explore the impact of PTSD on a character’s life and relationships, how systemic oppression affects a couple’s ability to be together, or how a trans character navigates love in a world that doesn’t always accept them. These stories don’t shy away from difficult topics; they confront them head-on while still delivering a satisfying and hopeful narrative. This combination of real-world issues with the promise of a happy ending makes for a powerful reading experience.

4. Romance novels offer comfort and joy

Let’s be real: life is hard. Sometimes, you just need to escape into a story that guarantees a happy ending. Romance novels provide that comfort. They’re a reminder that, despite the challenges and heartbreaks of life, love in its many forms is out there, and it’s worth holding onto. In a world that often feels chaotic and uncertain, these stories offer a sense of hope and stability.

There’s also something to be said for the joy that romance novels bring. They’re fun, often funny, and they leave you with a smile on your face. They might be predictable at times, but that predictability is part of their charm. It’s comforting to know that no matter what the characters go through, love will prevail in the end—whether it’s between two women, a polyamorous triad, or a non-binary ace protagonist finding companionship.

5. Romance novels open conversations about sex and pleasure

Let’s not shy away from it—many romance novels dive into the steamy side of relationships, and that’s something worth celebrating. These stories don’t just offer escapism; they provide an important space for exploring and understanding sexual desire, consent, and pleasure. Whether you’re reading about a slow-burn romance or something more explicit, these novels can be incredibly educational, especially for those who find it difficult to talk about sex openly.

While some might think romance is all about the fantasy, recent research suggests otherwise. For instance, a study published in The Journal of Sex Research highlights that romance novels with steamy content can play a significant role in sexual education and communication. They often address topics like consent, pleasure, and intimacy, providing readers with a more nuanced understanding of sexual relationships.

For men and women alike, and for anyone who struggles with discussing intimacy, romance novels can be a gateway to better understanding one’s desires and boundaries. They portray sex as a healthy and important part of relationships, emphasizing the importance of communication, respect, and mutual pleasure.

These stories show that it’s okay to want, to ask, and to explore, making them a valuable resource for anyone looking to deepen their understanding of intimacy and connection.

6. Romance novels are good for the soul

Ultimately, I shall confidently make the case for these books making us better humans. They remind us of the beauty of human connection, our capacity for empathy, the power of love, and the importance of hope. These works are not merely a means of escapism; they provide a pathway to discovering depth and joy in the seemingly mundane aspects of life.

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So, the next time you’re tempted to roll your eyes at a romance novel, remember this: love isn’t one-size-fits-all, and neither are these stories. Sure, like any genre, there’s a wide spectrum—from heartfelt gems to those that might not be your cup of tea. You’ll quickly find the ones that resonate with you, whether it’s a captivating narrative, diverse representation, or just a feel-good escape.

And if you find yourself drawn and addicted to the complex and wildly entertaining world of wuv, true wuv, you won’t be alone. Nor should you ever feel the slightest bit ashamed. ◼️